Community

The following is a mental/emotional inventory list, designed to help community builders accomplish tasks successfully, prevent damaging relationships, nurture long-term community growth, and, above all, be mentally prepared to deal with the myriad situations that may arise when building a community.

1. Participate to your fullest. If you want to be part of a group or a project, realistically assess your time, interests, talents and abilities, and then communicate to the others how you can best contribute. Do not commit to something you feel you are incapable of doing.
2. Find ways, big and small, in which everyone can participate meaningfully.
3. If you are leading a project and require collaboration or assistance, get hard commitments from people for specific tasks, in advance.
4. Work out an equitable division of labor within your group.
5. Have meetings. Talk to each other face to face. Speak honestly and diplomatically. Work it out.
6. Every kind of work is arguably of equal importance to another. There is no way to equitably judge what kind of work is most important, so don't try to.
7. If you are leading a project, expect to do more work on it than anybody else, and be content with that decision.
8. If you are, or see yourself as, a leader, it is also important to integrate the words "diplomat" and "ambassador" into this description. Self-confidence is important, but arrogance can backfire. Be open and communicative. Listen.
9. Share or delegate responsibility. A burden is more easily carried by many shoulders.
10. Never expect somebody to do a task that they haven't explicitly or specifically commited to doing. If you need assistance, ask for it.
11. Respect that others within your group may have different talents, interests and energy levels than you, and learn to live with that. Not everybody can contribute to something in the same ways, and on the same levels. Try to recognize the true abilities of the people with whom you work.
12. If you are unsure as to how you can contribute to a project, ask somebody working on it what you can do. Chances are, they'd appreciate any help you could lend them.
13. Do not expect direct rewards or thanks for your efforts. You should be motivated by the fact that you want to see your project happen. Revel in the fact that you got it accomplished, and people are enjoying it. Soak in the scene, and let that be your reward.
14. Always communicate your feelings, thoughts and intentions. Speak to people clearly and directly about what you need. Nobody can be expected to read your mind.
15. Try to avoid reacting to issues that are emotionally charged via email. Write out your feelings, save it in your drafts folder, and leave it until tomorrow. Chances are, your feelings will change. At that point, pick up the phone and call the person you reacted to. Talk it out. Reread your email, edit, and then send, if it is still necessary. Make it your absolute last resort.
16. With longer-term groups or projects, time effects energy, which will always be shifting. Sometimes people will step up, sometimes they will step down. Never expect someone to put in the same level of energy as they did previously. It is far better to set yourself up for a nice surprise than a disappointing letdown.
17. If somebody has been entrusted to carry out a task, don't question them on it, don't second-guess them. Trust that they are capable of carrying it out successfully. Let them work on it autonomously. Offer to help only if they need it.
18. Is there a member of your group not pulling their weight, or not doing what they commited to doing? Talk to them about it, directly and honestly. Ask them why. Don't let it simmer and make you angry, try to deal with the problem in its infancy. And never begin a dialogue of this nature with an attack.
19. Don't compare yourself to others. Remember: you are making the decision to work as hard as you are working. It has absolutely nothing to do with what anybody else is doing.
20. Remember: nobody is getting paid for the work they are doing, and are indeed investing countless hours of sweat equity, their talents, material goods and, over time, thousands of dollars, to participate in building this community.
21. Say "thank you" to individuals within your group, and say it often. Everybody wants to know that their hard work is recognized and appreciated by the people they love.