Software Engineering

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Software Engineering

Software engineer glossary of Product Terminology OR...

Term	What it really means
1-800	Our software is way TOO expensive
All New	Software is not compatible with previous versions
Advanced Design	Upper management doesn't understand it
Breakthrough	It finally booted on the first try
Bullet Proof	Russian roulette except we supply all the bullets
Client/Server	It sounded good
Creative Ingenuity	We stole everything from our competitors
Design Simplicity	Developed on a shoe string budget
Exclusive	We're the only ones who have the documentation
Field Tested	Manufacturing doesn't have a test system
Foolproof Ooperation	All parameters are hard-coded
Futuristic	It will only run on the next generation supercomputer
GUI	Really character based window
High Accuracy	All the directories compare
It's Here at Last	Released a 26-week project in 48 weeks
Maintenance Free	Impossible to fix
Meets Quality Standards	It compiles without errors
New	Different colors from previous version
Open Standards	We set our own standard and expect you to follow
Quality Assurance	We've photocopied the ISO-9000 and IEEE manuals before we shipped
Performance Proven	Works through beta test
Revolutionary	Disk drives go round and round
Satisfaction Guaranteed	We'll send you another copy if it fails
Software Engineering	One person did everything, from analysis, design, programming, testing, documentation, training to implementation. Sorry - didn't have time to fix bugs - only documented them
SQL	SQL with our own extensions
Stock Item	We shipped it once before and we can do it again
Unmatched	Almost as good as the competition
Unprecendented Performance	Nothing ever ran this
Version 2.0	Had to fix too many bugs to call it version 1.01, plus no one knows the decimal system
Y2K Compliant	Code now adds '20' to '00'
ZERO Based Administration	Don't turn on your computer

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